Bill
Bill
She'll be back soon. She always comes back. Just gone off to the shops, that's all. I like to sit here. You can see right down the road from here. It's getting dark now. Funny how it's getting dark… already. I could do with a clock in here.
I've lived in this house all my life. Number 68… Oh damn it! What's the name of the road? I can't remember… Queens Road… that's it, it's Queens Road. Just me and our Janet left. Mother and Father dead. Then there's another one… he's… oh it's gone. It was Dad that built this house. Master craftsman he was. Taught me… it was bricks… that's it; he taught me how to lay bricks. It's me that keeps this place in order now, just like Dad did. I do everything round here, always have done. Decorate… mend… I mend the wood… the roof… I mend the… what do you call it… the wires… the electrics. Then there's rent books... I think we… there's people upstairs… they stay... Do you live here?
I never see anyone. She likes me to keep out the way… she likes me to be ill in this room. She says its best for both of us, 'our secret', she says. I sit in this chair all day. Never see anyone. I usually sit here. I can see right down the road from here. These net curtains… they're a bit if a pest. People don't to know I'm here. They never wave back. A bit lonely… It's nice having a visitor.
I think it's getting worse… this thing in my brain… it's getting worse. It's a nuisance! It gets in the way! I can't keep track… I've got thoughts going on… jumbled up… coming and going all the time… it's hard to hang onto the one I want. Did you say our Janet's in hospital? What on earth is she doing there? She told me she was going shopping! That makes a change… it's usually me getting the blame for things I haven't done. You see… she talks all nice to me about this and that… then suddenly she turns, 'Where the hell have you put it this time?' she says, or, 'What have you done this for?' Doesn't believe me… lays into me… shouting… hurting... and doing… It's funny how I fall to the left… I always fall to the left. I start going backwards and I can't stop it… I fall back and to the left. I suppose that just about sums me up nowadays - I fall and I forget things.
I keep thinking about my tools. She's hidden them... I think she's hidden my tools… I need them. I had a right job getting to the shed and back a bit a go… when she'd gone out... I waited 'till she'd gone out. Found a brush and some paint though… in the shed. I'm going to paint over that grimy patch on the wall… up there look… above the door. Do you see it? I keep looking at it. I think I could reach up there with a paintbrush. I could stand on that… that stool. I think I could reach up there, if I stood on that stool.
How did you get in here? Has our Janet let you in?